ATENÇÃO: POST SOMENTE EM INGLÊS, POIS NÃO ME SINTO BEM EM POSTANDO-O EM PORT. Grata.
Some people pass through life pretending. Pretending they love their choices, pretending they’re happy… In a sea of lies, those people drown in their own tears. Tears that can only be heard after midnight. It’s lonely. However sometimes they let them fall in the shower, hoping that the water will take their insecurities away. Foolish existence. And they are tired. Too tired to do what they love, too lonely to feel truly hugged, and too sad to say no. Sadness is a tricky thing, it can hide inside of our veins, and show itself in the worst possible time. Painful existence. The days are not so important, since those people feel so exhausted to live.
How is that possible? How did I let things go down this way? Where’s that happy side of me?
They hear about Depression and Loneliness, but the true is that they are acquainted by now. Such horrible friends to have.
Where’s my power? Where did I loose it? Maybe it’s inside of my boxes, in a crummy storage room, hidden in the heart of Hollywood. Such a pretty picture… Full of hopes, laughter, true friends, all my dreams…. Please let me believe there’s a way out. A better path. No, actually: My own happy path. Foolish dream. Please let me be who I am.
Strange… If I think about it, people only know the powerful side of me. Why do I have to carry the dark side by myself? Why do I have to pretend? Please let me cry. Allow me mourn lost dreams and sad days. I can’t hide anymore. I want more than that… I miss me. So much. I now jump from place to place, trying to find me. It’s the wrong way! Please let me be wrong, make mistakes, fall on my face, scratch my knees. The only problem? I’ve done it. Many times. But I never cried over them. Never allowed myself to. Why not? There’s nothing wrong with that. I should have known that at some point, all of the sad moments would catch me, and I would have to deal with them all at once. I’m scared to think about it. Scared to fall into the abyss of bad memories. Smells like alcohol and stupidity there. Not my favorite place in the world. But I really don’t see another way.
Please, let me leave there safe and peaceful. Ladies and gentleman’s: I’m going in.